how long??

How do you know if you are happy in a situation or not?? How will you know if a person is very sincere in saying the words.. "I LOVE YOU." how long will i survive in this creppy and weird world... how long will i stay in my shell?? how long will i find true happiness?? Will I wait forever?

whatever

i was playing my guitar and i started to strum... i suddenly felt this feeling of putting all of my emotions in my music. I can't express my feelings because i really repress it because i dont like to hurt the people who surrounds me... I am so alone and I have no one to turn to.. I feel that no one understands what I am going through right now... So ill just be silent and just strum my guitar and let it feel the hatred, guilt and confusion that I am feeling right now. The walls in my room are the only witness on how much sorrow I am going through... and I hope that somehow, someone would remove all these feelings and I will be happy..

STATE OF MIND

confusion...
a state of mind wherein i can loose all my inhibitions...
thinking all day about certain matters in my life...
well, i have been confused all my life about lots of things.
there were many situations that i have been through
honestly, i have escaped from reality and never thought of things that would rather hurt me..
that's why i am really confused on how to deal with things...
self-help books can't really help and i cant really reach out to my friends... so..
i am really confused.. and i dont really know what to do..

YOUNG

there was a time in my life,
when i knew nothing but to play
with dolls and toys that gave me hapiness.
I was innocent, without sins.
Never knew what was right or wrong...
Always listened and followed.
Years passed,
I changed.
Had a mind of my own.
Thought of wild things, never imagined that I would do.
Problems started,
My mind stressed...
Wished that I had no things to think about.
Just played with dolls and toys.
Hope that i was still innocent
and without sins...

EMOTION SICKNESS

...im feeling so blue,
with this emotion sickness that i am going through...
yesterday, it was a bad day.
Coz i was so wasted and my throat seem to burn inside.
My nose is exploding with waste from my lungs.. damn!
In layman's term, this is what they call a cold and a flu...
and it comes with a fever..
When will this end?
Right now,
i am stuck in my room
...my sanctuary...
... need more rest from this mayhem.. shiT!!
Im so stressed out...

my new cds

My new cd....
I bought it without hessitations...
As i listened to it.. i remembered the past,
reminisicing the times when i was still innocent..
Now, music keeps me alive,
I can't live without music...
It flows through my veins...
It is a portal to the past...
It keeps me remember my past,
So, I have a strength to move to the future...